Dating can be rough.
Things like social media and DMs have tainted tons of relationships, and at the same time, there are numerous apps that have helped people find love.
Finding the “right one” isn’t an easy task, but there are definitely some valuable lessons that I’ve learned along the way.
While I’ve dated outside my race, my heart (and eyes) are constantly returning to the black man.
And in my search for the “right one,” here’s what I learned about black men along the way.
Most Would Still Prefer To Date Within Their Race
While the transparency of social media allows us into many people’s lives, one thing is clear.
There are quite a few black men who prefer to date outside of their race than to date black women.
At one point in time, you’ve probably heard a few of their reasons.
They’d rather deal with a woman with little to no attitude.
They want a woman with natural hair.
I could sit here and list their asinine reasons for hours, but there’s an important thing to realize about these black men – they are not all black men.
While I’ve personally encountered the black men who would prefer a woman from another race, most black men would still prefer to date a black woman.
It’s easy to be discouraged, but it’s still possible to find the black king you’re looking for.
If you find one, don’t be selfish.
Send him my way!
It Pays To Be Realistic
Do you go into relationships having unrealistic ideas?
I have before, but this is lesson #2 that I’ve learned from dating black men.
We all have a type for both the outer appearance and inner soul, and unfortunately at times, the inside doesn’t match the outside.
My type just so happens to be tall, dark, and handsome.
Standing at 5’9” my tall is 6’2” and over.
By dark, I mean brown skin, and you know what I mean by handsome!
While the outside packaging might be nice, imagine opening up a Christmas present.
You’re not ALWAYS going to get what you want.
Sometimes, you’ll even receive a gift and wonder if you were on the naughty list.
It pays to be realistic because not all black men are for you!
You might want to head into every date thinking that this man is for you, but by being realistic with your expectations, you’ll save yourself some time and frustration.
Not All Black Men Will Treat You Like A Queen, But The Right One Will
Let’s keep it all the way honest.
There are black men who will treat you like a queen and then there are black men who won’t.
In my experience with black men, it can often be a toss-up.
You might find the man who expects you to wait on him hand and foot.
Even if you’re working a full-time job, they might expect you to be a homemaker at the same time.
You might even encounter the man who is only looking for a trophy wife.
While it’s nice to be considered a trophy, it’s a bit insulting if that’s all we’re thought to be.
We are queens, and while there are a few men who might forget that, there are ones who won’t forget it!
Feeling like a prize can easily go to our heads, but we’re more than that.
We’re providers, entrepreneurs, executives, and so much more.
Our family dynamic is often built on the backbone of our capabilities, and I’ve learned that there are black men who are going to understand that, appreciate it, and give you the world because of it.