Who comes first, your mother or your wife?
Many men struggle with the issue of who to put first – their wife, or their mother.
We’d put our money on the fact this has been an issue since the beginning of time… and a contentious one in many households and families.
As it stands, both wife and mother have their places in the life of a man, of course.
But, the question remains, why has this caused so many complications in marital and family relationships?
Let’s look at how you should go about choosing between wife and mother.
Caught In The Middle When Choosing Between Wife And Mother
Have you as a man found yourself in such a predicament, feeling caught in the middle and like you can’t do anything right?
Are you a woman – either wife or mother – experiencing the harsh reality of feeling pushed out?
Maybe you’re wishing your son or husband would pay more attention to you and your feelings and opinions.
This can be a challenging situation for everyone involved, but maybe more so for the man at the center – he’s the one who sometimes feels forced to choose.
Let’s have a look at the places of each woman in this circle and find out where a man’s attention should really lie.
Momma Was There First
First of all, an important question. Where did the man come from? Yes, you have it right. He came out of his mother.
In most cases, he was nurtured by his mom, fed by her and received training from her. There is a bond which exists between mother and son that will never be broken.
Mommy existed in his life long before his wife. Looking at the chronological order of things there is definitely an argument to have the mother as first place in his life.
His mother is the one who set the foundation for him to become the man that he is. The man that made his wife want to marry him! You could even go as far as saying that the mother had a major role to play in her son and his wife getting together. That said, can you really say to this man that priority should be given to anyone else?
After all, there is no one who knows him better than his mother. A mother is often able to decipher the quality of wife the man has, even before him.
Ever had your mom say, “She’s no good, just watch!” You defended your ex at the time, but boy, did your mom turn out to be right.
Another school of thought may be to ask, after all that mom has done for her son, doesn’t she deserve to be put on a pedestal? Would the wife ever be able to give to her husband as much as the mother has invested in him? Let’s just say that the marriage doesn’t work out, who does the man return to?
Oh yes, his mother, of course! Mommy is always there for her son to pick up from where the wife left off. But the wife can leave at any time.
Now, that’s a lot of mother-love! Let’s flip to the other side of the coin:
The Wife Claims The Throne
As the Bible says, a man leaves his mother and father and cleaves to his own wife. At the altar, a new journey begins, and the main woman of this new journey is the wife. The idea of leaving the parents means that the parental influence is no longer as great as was before. There is a newer influence ahead and it is that of the wife.
So this begs the question, which is more important – what happened in the past or what’s in the present? After all, the man is responsible for his immediate family which is made up of the man, his wife and children.
In his past life, his father was the one responsible for his mother, not him. In the case where there was no father present, the mother was in control.
This changed however, when the man gave up part of his rights in one family by moving into – and creating – another. This present woman, the wife, may just be the one to mother his children. She is the main lady taking care of the man and his affairs.
Need there be more arguments to show her importance in the marriage? The new journey starts and is supposed to end with this new woman, the wife who must take up the throne in the marriage. She must now be the queen in the man’s life – not the man’s mother.