/ / If A Guy Cheats On You, Should You Give Him A Second Chance?

If A Guy Cheats On You, Should You Give Him A Second Chance?

If A Guy Cheats On You, Should You Give Him A Second Chance?

You may have asked yourself, should you give your boyfriend another chance after cheating? If so, we plan on helping you make an informed decision with that here today.

Being cheated on, it’s one thing we all hope never happens to us. And if you’ve been cheated on, we hope never to endure again. Discovering that your boyfriend or spouse has been cheating on you is the most gut wrenching and heartbreaking experience for any woman to go through.

For some, this revelation marks the end of the relationship for good but it is never that simple to do. For a lot of women, there is the question of whether the relationship can be salvaged. Should you forgive your man for his shortcomings and give it another chance? Or should you declare him as a lost cause and leave him to his own devices?

It’s a decision that you will either regret or stand by for the rest of your life. But before you even consider asking that question, there are many other things that need to be considered before settling on your final decision.

What Does It Mean If a Man Is Unfaithful To You?

What Does It Mean If a Man Is Unfaithful To You

This sounds like a pretty straightforward question, but when you take the time to think about it it’s actually a lot more complicated than it appears. While it is certainly true that unfaithful men are usually selfish, that isn’t always the case. There isn’t much of a variety of reasons why someone would cheat on a person, but it is safe to say that they are applied to one of two categories: intentional and unintentional. Some men want to cheat, while for others it’s simply an occasion of “wrong place at the wrong time”.

Does this mean that the men who fall into the latter group deserve any sort of sympathy or are any less guilty than the men who intentionally go out of their way to be unfaithful? Absolutely not. But it does make the situation all the more complicated for those who just happened to fall into an affair than for those who take part in having them. This fact plays a huge role in everything else you should consider if you’re thinking of giving him another chance.

Does He Love You Enough?

Does He Love You Enough

You’ve heard it in all those television shows and movies where the man is made on his cheating ways. The first question that the cheated always ask: “Do you love her?” Personally, I find that this isn’t the right question to ask when confronting your partner about his cheating ways. What really matters is if after the cheating he still loves you, and even then it can be argued by some that he doesn’t.

With all this debate on hand, however, no one seems to stop and think about what the meaning of “love” is, or specifically what that entails. Aside from trust, honesty, and faithfulness, love also means respect—everything that cheating is completely against. If there is any telltale sign of how he truly feels about you, a best way to gauge that is by looking at his actions after he’s been caught in the act. Is he truly remorseful about his actions? Did he come to you first to admit these actions or did he actively try to keep you from finding out? It’s not a lot, but asking yourself these questions and looking out for similar signs is a good start if you are really wondering about where he stands on his feelings for you.

Should You Forgive Him If He Cheats?

Should You Forgive Him If He Cheats

When I decided to write this article, I already knew what my personal answer to the question was going to be. I always took my relationships very seriously; trust is the highest value I regard in a relationship, and I expect the same to come from the man that I’m dating. For me, adultery is the equivalent to a spit in the face of those values, and I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t fully appreciate the merit in them.

For some, that answer isn’t going to be so simple to come to, for others it will be almost immediate. Forgiveness takes a certain level of humility to even pull off, so just saying “I forgive you” isn’t enough, and it’s more for your sake than it is for your man. At the end of the day, real forgiveness is just accepting the fact that it happened. There’s nothing you can do except learn to deal with the consequences. Does forgiveness mean that he should be given a second chance? That’s entirely up to you. So take as much time as you need to heal. He owes you that much.

If He Cheats, Will He Do It Again?

If He Cheats, Will He Do It Again

As I’ve stated throughout the article, no two relationships are the same. For some, your partner will only cheat that one time and never again. For others, it could be an unfortunate common occurrence. But even with that in mind, it’s a question where you can’t really expect a certain answer. Still, it’s a question that you can’t help thinking.

And who can blame you for thinking it? Infidelity is a huge betrayal of trust, and even if you forgive him for the act, it’s more than understandable for any woman to question whether he’ll do it again…

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13 Comments

  1. Yes my fiance cheated on me and now for a month he has been texting and calling asking for another chance to make it right I need some advice.

  2. My ex cheated on me, we’ve been together for almost 3 year. I still love him, and he keeps telling me he still loves me and wants me to come back to him, that he regret what he did and that he was sorry. He said he will try and win me back but I don’t see his efforts and he rarely talks or text me. I’m not sure if I should give him a second chance? It’s hard to trust him and his words but I’m still into him. Help!

  3. My boyfriend of 6 months didn’t actually cheat but while I was going through his text I read messages which indicated that he was planning to cheat. He even asked the girl out. I felt so hurt as I developed feelings for him and broke up with him, but now he is begging me to take him back. I am so confused as to what I should do.

    1. I’m wondering if I should give my boyfriend a second chance. We have been dating for one and half years and I found out that he had been texting multiple people for four months, by looking through his old phone he gave me. It has now been six months since he did this and I’m just finding out now. He says that during that time he realized he only wanted to be with me and has apologized and said he would do anything to make me trust him again because he loves me and he wants me to be his wife. I’m not sure if I should stay or not. A part of me feels like we could work it out but another part of me feels like I should let it go. I love him so much and thought I would marry him but now I’m just very confused.

  4. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost four months now. Today, he told me that he slept with his ex about a week into our relationship. He said he didn’t know at the time how serious we would get and he still doesn’t know how he feels about his ex. Right now he’s giving me space but I just don’t know what to feel right now. He even states his relationship with his ex was toxic, but now I have doubts that he actually wants to be with me.

  5. I have the same problem as ConfusedGirl. She wants to still be together, but she’s not doing anything about it. As much as I want to stay, I’m just not sure how I can trust her at this point. Help!

  6. First of all I really like how this article is laid out. I (age 21) found out my boyfriend (age 28) of 1 1/2 years had been cheating. He’s been having an emotional relationship with a girl he had seen before we were together. This girl was apparently unaware of our relationship and lives on the other side of the country. This has been going on for at least 4 months. He did not tell me, I found out by looking through his phone. He says he truly regrets what he did and he felt ashamed the whole time. I had asked him why he didn’t tell me and his answer was because “I was scared that we were getting to serious and I was scared of getting hurt again”. I’ve been trying to distance myself from him but I’m finding it hard because I have so many questions. I want to work through this situation mainly because I want to understand why and if his past truly plays (really horrible childhood) a part in his actions.

  7. I hope you can give me some advice. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 4 years now. Due to our respective location, we usually meet once or twice a week. I usually drive 45 minutes to meet him every week. Recently my friend told me & one hundred percent confirmed that she saw my boyfriend hanging out with a girl at a grocery store both wearing mask. The girl was putting her hand at his arm. My boyfriend denied that he cheats on me. He told me he has been hanging out with different girls for drinking session or sometimes going out to buy stuff. He was very stressed with his financial situation with no stable income. He’s not even sure he know’s what love is anymore and doesn’t even know if he loves me, he said the spark has gone after four years. He is hanging out with other girls to see if he can find that ‘love’ feeling again. I am really upset. I begged him saying that we can work it out together if he still wants our relationship. I’m not sure if he pity’s me, he’s confused and lost. He asked me to give him time and space to see where his feelings are and whether he still misses me or not. He added ‘to be honest I also don’t want to lose you’. Now we’re at the no contact rule. He’s asked me to give him one month to see. I asked for advice from my friends & family, they asked me to break up with him and let go. With his financial issue, I actually couldn’t see a future with him. But I still love him very much. I would appreciate any advice.

  8. I’ve been with my boyfriend for six months now and I just found out he kissed his “girl bestfriend”. I never said to him to stop being her friend because I don’t want to be that type of controlling girlfriend but he knew I didn’t like her the whole time. I have also now found out that he kissed her three times. He’s the one that leaned in for a kiss. My heart is broken I told myself I wouldn’t stay with a guy that cheats on me. But I love him so much so I want to give him a chance because I was once the cheater. He’s begging me for a second chance but I just don’t think I’ll give him a chance anytime soon because I need time to think about this, I’m disgusted. I don’t want to make the mistake of giving him another chance just because of how bad I want to be with him. At the moment he’s been begging me and he told me he had never actually fallen in love before and I’m the first person that he had ever tried to commit himself to. So I think I could give him another chance because I can tell he feels bad, but it’s going to take me a while to trust him again and I’m scared that he could be saying “I will change I promise” right now but then some other time, cheat on me again. Please help me, I don’t know what to do.

  9. I’ve been with my boyfriend for three years and we broke up a month ago now because he cheated, and had a one night stand with a girl at a party on Halloween. I’m truly heartbroken and I just don’t know what to do. He said he regretted it straight away but he didn’t tell me until two weeks after we had split up (which was the real reason we had). When we first broke up we had three days of not speaking and he has been messaging me and hasn’t stopped. It’s been a month now and he said he’s truly realized how bad his actions were and he’s sorry and wants to start again. We do have a unreal bond and connection together, I’m just scared if it’ll happen again. Do I give him another chance? And start fresh. I don’t know what to do, please any advice will help!

  10. My boyfriend cheated on me. We’ve been together for ten years. I gave him a second chance but he did it again (twice this time, with different women). He tells me he has changed. It’s hard to believe or even trust him.
    He also brought them into our house while I was away, to take care of our son. I want to break up, but I want to revenge first. I feel so hurt. I shouldn’t have given him a second chance. I’m very confused. He say’s he want’s me and love’s and not other women, and that they mean nothing to him.

  11. My boyfriend cheats on me and now he is saying he still loves me. Obviously I love him a lot, but we have a lot of fights, which made him very frustrated. His last relationship ended because of the fights and he saw the same thing happening to us that happened with his ex. He formed a relationship with a girl who was divorced and facing a lot of problems and he went her to help her. At the same time he was distressed and had sex with her two times and then he felt trapped by her situation and could’t leave her. But now he’s saying he’s not interested in her. Should I give him a second chance? He was crying and promising not to do this again but I am confused.

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