If A Guy Cheats On You, Should You Give Him A Second Chance?
You may have asked yourself, should you give your boyfriend another chance after cheating? If so, we plan on helping you make an informed decision with that here today.
Being cheated on, it’s one thing we all hope never happens to us. And if you’ve been cheated on, we hope never to endure again. Discovering that your boyfriend or spouse has been cheating on you is the most gut wrenching and heartbreaking experience for any woman to go through.
For some, this revelation marks the end of the relationship for good but it is never that simple to do. For a lot of women, there is the question of whether the relationship can be salvaged. Should you forgive your man for his shortcomings and give it another chance? Or should you declare him as a lost cause and leave him to his own devices?
It’s a decision that you will either regret or stand by for the rest of your life. But before you even consider asking that question, there are many other things that need to be considered before settling on your final decision.
What Does It Mean If a Man Is Unfaithful To You?
This sounds like a pretty straightforward question, but when you take the time to think about it it’s actually a lot more complicated than it appears. While it is certainly true that unfaithful men are usually selfish, that isn’t always the case. There isn’t much of a variety of reasons why someone would cheat on a person, but it is safe to say that they are applied to one of two categories: intentional and unintentional. Some men want to cheat, while for others it’s simply an occasion of “wrong place at the wrong time”.
Does this mean that the men who fall into the latter group deserve any sort of sympathy or are any less guilty than the men who intentionally go out of their way to be unfaithful? Absolutely not. But it does make the situation all the more complicated for those who just happened to fall into an affair than for those who take part in having them. This fact plays a huge role in everything else you should consider if you’re thinking of giving him another chance.
Does He Love You Enough?
You’ve heard it in all those television shows and movies where the man is made on his cheating ways. The first question that the cheated always ask: “Do you love her?” Personally, I find that this isn’t the right question to ask when confronting your partner about his cheating ways. What really matters is if after the cheating he still loves you, and even then it can be argued by some that he doesn’t.
With all this debate on hand, however, no one seems to stop and think about what the meaning of “love” is, or specifically what that entails. Aside from trust, honesty, and faithfulness, love also means respect—everything that cheating is completely against. If there is any telltale sign of how he truly feels about you, a best way to gauge that is by looking at his actions after he’s been caught in the act. Is he truly remorseful about his actions? Did he come to you first to admit these actions or did he actively try to keep you from finding out? It’s not a lot, but asking yourself these questions and looking out for similar signs is a good start if you are really wondering about where he stands on his feelings for you.
Should You Forgive Him If He Cheats?
When I decided to write this article, I already knew what my personal answer to the question was going to be. I always took my relationships very seriously; trust is the highest value I regard in a relationship, and I expect the same to come from the man that I’m dating. For me, adultery is the equivalent to a spit in the face of those values, and I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t fully appreciate the merit in them.
For some, that answer isn’t going to be so simple to come to, for others it will be almost immediate. Forgiveness takes a certain level of humility to even pull off, so just saying “I forgive you” isn’t enough, and it’s more for your sake than it is for your man. At the end of the day, real forgiveness is just accepting the fact that it happened. There’s nothing you can do except learn to deal with the consequences. Does forgiveness mean that he should be given a second chance? That’s entirely up to you. So take as much time as you need to heal. He owes you that much.
If He Cheats, Will He Do It Again?
As I’ve stated throughout the article, no two relationships are the same. For some, your partner will only cheat that one time and never again. For others, it could be an unfortunate common occurrence. But even with that in mind, it’s a question where you can’t really expect a certain answer. Still, it’s a question that you can’t help thinking.
And who can blame you for thinking it? Infidelity is a huge betrayal of trust, and even if you forgive him for the act, it’s more than understandable for any woman to question whether he’ll do it again…