How To Deal With Toxic Family Members Who Are Bringing You Down

How To Deal With Toxic Family Members

It’s not uncommon to have some family members who are the absolute worst. They can abuse you, use you, or discourage you from having personal prospects. Their actions can take a serious toll on your emotions and mental health.

So how do we keep ourselves from succumbing to their bad influences? We look at that below.

Ignore What They Say

Ignore What Your Toxic Relatives Say About You

The most common way that a family member can be toxic is when they say discouraging things to you on a regular basis. In a lot of cases, they think that they are giving you “tough love” when really it’s an excuse for them to be mean and insulting. After a while, you come to realize that you shouldn’t put too much stock into what they say. If relatives who do this sort of thing really cared about your well-being, they would be spending a lot less time berating you and more time giving you support, encouragement, or advice that benefits you.

Stand Up For Yourself

Black Woman Confronting The Relatives That Are Giving Her A Hard Time

The thing about some family members who bring you down is that they are unaware of the impact their actions or words have on you. In a best case scenario, speaking up to them and telling them how you really feel about their words and actions can help clear up the air. Even if there’s a slight chance that they won’t listen or won’t change, then do it to show them (and yourself) that you won’t take their crap anymore.

Don’t Stoop Down To Their Level

A Black Girl Being The Bigger Person And Not Stooping To The Level Of Her Toxic Relatives

There are moments when you just get really tired of someone’s crap. You’ve confronted them about it, you’ve ignored them as much as we can, but even with that, there are still a number of ways that family members can still bring you down. It’s enough to drive anyone to your breaking point. But the one thing you mustn’t do is give in and take part in their nonsense. It solves nothing for you and you’ve become no better than that family member who thinks little of you.

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  1. I am the primary/sole caregiver for my veteran husband who was diagnosed with Young Onset Dementia and Parkinson’s disease at age 46 (now 55). His illness stems from serving our country. We were in the prime of our careers Nokia and IBM while raising 3 young children.

    Never in wildest dreams would I ever anticipate the toxicity I have received from my family and friends. How would I? Over the past 4 decades, I was the one who was “always” there for everyone for everything and anything. It actually took me to endure having the worst moments and being vulnerable to realize the unimaginable/unthinkable! I begged my family and friends for 3/4 years to provide some form of support. Instead, I received not only one rejection after another, I also had to deal with the atrocities of false accusations, name calling, and the outright replies of saying “No” to checking in on my 3 young children. As much as we needed financial assistance, I knew not to ask, so I went to a few charity organizations. To endure the devastating dynamics from my husband’s illness plus, the hurt, loneliness, and heartache from my friends and family members (on both sides) was simply too much to bare. Well, once I said what I had to say, I finally stopped asking for emotional support. Plus, I stood my grounds and no longer felt obligated to provide updates on my husband’s decline. Needless to say, every last person we knew prior to this horrific terminal illness have abandoned us. However, this experience provided me with a tremendous amount of wisdom and knowledge. Most importantly, I reminded myself of God’s word, “I will never leave you nor forsake you”. Truly, I am grateful for the courage, boldness, wherewithal and empowerment that God has provided. With Humility and Gratitude. I don’t ask for much, so a simple phone call asking me “How are doing?”.

  2. I absolutely love it and appreciate keeping black women in front and giving us love according to our intelligence, beauty and bravery to stand together with no judgement against ourselves. We need each other. Black women, we rock!

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