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Daddy Issues: The Signs, Symptoms, And How To Deal With Them

Daddy Issues: The Signs, Symptoms, And How To Deal With Them

Black friends happy together

Look for everything you need within yourself. What are you looking for? Affirmation. Acceptance. Protection. Love. You have the ability to give yourself all of that. No one can ever love you as much as you love yourself. You are enough.

Talk to your partner or best friend. Have an open and honest conversation about what they see in your love life that needs to change. Make a list of the things they say, and turn this list into a list of things that you will actively work on.

For example, if an item on the list is, “I will trust my boyfriend more,” perhaps start with something like, “I will stop checking his phone, and I will believe him when he says he is faithful.”

Can Your Boyfriend Have Daddy Issues?

Can guys have daddy issues too?

Definitely. When people hear “daddy issues,” they think that it only applies to women, but your boyfriend could have daddy issues (or even mommy issues) that are deeply affecting your relationship if his father was absent, abusive or emotionally distant. How will you know?

He’s got anger management problems. Even if he’s really funny and charming out in public, he has a hard time controlling his anger when you’re alone. For example, if a dish isn’t washed properly, he flies off the handle. The anger that has spent decades building towards his father comes out at you.

He’s controlling. Just like a woman with daddy issues may be clingy out of fear of abandonment, a man with daddy issues may try to control you in order to make sure you can’t hurt him like his father did. He might go through your phone or forbid you from seeing certain friends, for example. This isn’t okay.

He’s a very closed person. After his father left, he learned to swallow his emotions and be the man of the house, so now he has a hard time being emotionally close with anyone, including you. It will seem like he doesn’t trust you because he doesn’t want to open up about his past.

Knowing if you're affected by this

Children terrify him. Talking about children makes him freeze up, because deep down he worries that he’ll hurt them like his father hurt him.

He refuses to be vulnerable. Anything below the surface is impossible to reach. If you hurt him, he’ll retaliate with anger or by retreating. If you say that you love him, he might say nothing, even if he wants to.

What Do You Do If Your Boyfriend Has Daddy Issues?

What To Do If Your Boyfriend Has Daddy Issues

If he’s being abusive, like being too controlling or taking his anger out on you, then don’t stay with him. You should never be in an abusive relationship, no matter how much you think you love him.

But if he’s not abusive, just reserved, then you’ll have to be gentle and patient with him. It will take him a long time to truly open up to you. Earn that trust. Celebrate whenever he confides in you even a little. Make sure he knows that he is loved. And try to talk about what you could each do better in the relationship.

Daddy Issues: The Signs, Symptoms, And How To Deal With Them

Just because you – or your boyfriend – have daddy issues doesn’t mean that you can’t have happy, fulfilling relationships. Just be honest with yourself and work with your partner to see where these issues are affecting your relationship. And above all, remember that everything you’re looking for in your father you can really find in yourself – in fact, you’re the only one who can fulfill everything you need.

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12 Comments

    1. Do some Yoga, Pilate and Meditation and you can restore the positive vibes in your body and heal yourself from Daddy issues.

  1. I am guilty. Currently seeing an older man and cheating on my kind boyfriend. How can I overcome this? Please help.

  2. Most of this applies to me. I’ve learned about being attracted to the emotionally unavailable man and the narcissist who feeds off the narcissistic supply. Healing is a constant and long process. Focusing on self around these types can be construed as selfish which leads to guilt and shame as you work to empower yourself. Good luck sisters.

  3. This is exactly me. I grew up with my dad but he was so distant. He never hugged me or told me he loved me. I found comfort in dating older men who made me feel safe and loved.

  4. I’m a growing woman in this area. I’ve been growing in Hod and that’s how I realized my “daddy issues”. I blamed it on past relationships, because my father is a good man in general. I don’t think he realized that his third daughter was not getting the same attention, especially with the birth of his well coveted son 15 months later. That doesn’t mention the anticipation and excitement that started as soon as my dad heard about the sex of his baby. Nevertheless the more I’ve grown to see my faults and broken habits, I’ve been able to build my self esteem. I began to recognize my worth and what I actually brought to the table. So that means what are the things that make me happy without the approval of others, including men. Once I was blessed to be solid in that, I understood more about what kind of man I needed, and it isn’t a father figure. To keep it short I needed a man who could deal with who I was, as I grew and grow more into the woman I want to be. I’m not there yet, but with God and time I will get there. The more you find yourself and what makes you happy outside of another person, the closer you will get. At least that’s what has worked for me.

  5. I grew up without my dad’s love. I jump from one relationship to the other. Seek affection everywhere. I really need help.

  6. I am just now finding out I have daddy issues. My partner pointed them out to me as we had just finished a heated and probably one of the most intense arguments we had ever had. We have been together for five years and it would devastate me if it failed on account of me. He’s the father of my two year old and I definitely want to work on myself and make changes in positive way. But I’m not going to lie, looking at myself in the mirror pointing my flaws out are scary.

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