Look for everything you need within yourself. What are you looking for? Affirmation. Acceptance. Protection. Love. You have the ability to give yourself all of that. No one can ever love you as much as you love yourself. You are enough.
Talk to your partner or best friend. Have an open and honest conversation about what they see in your love life that needs to change. Make a list of the things they say, and turn this list into a list of things that you will actively work on.
For example, if an item on the list is, “I will trust my boyfriend more,” perhaps start with something like, “I will stop checking his phone, and I will believe him when he says he is faithful.”
Can Your Boyfriend Have Daddy Issues?
Definitely. When people hear “daddy issues,” they think that it only applies to women, but your boyfriend could have daddy issues (or even mommy issues) that are deeply affecting your relationship if his father was absent, abusive or emotionally distant. How will you know?
He’s got anger management problems. Even if he’s really funny and charming out in public, he has a hard time controlling his anger when you’re alone. For example, if a dish isn’t washed properly, he flies off the handle. The anger that has spent decades building towards his father comes out at you.
He’s controlling. Just like a woman with daddy issues may be clingy out of fear of abandonment, a man with daddy issues may try to control you in order to make sure you can’t hurt him like his father did. He might go through your phone or forbid you from seeing certain friends, for example. This isn’t okay.
He’s a very closed person. After his father left, he learned to swallow his emotions and be the man of the house, so now he has a hard time being emotionally close with anyone, including you. It will seem like he doesn’t trust you because he doesn’t want to open up about his past.
Children terrify him. Talking about children makes him freeze up, because deep down he worries that he’ll hurt them like his father hurt him.
He refuses to be vulnerable. Anything below the surface is impossible to reach. If you hurt him, he’ll retaliate with anger or by retreating. If you say that you love him, he might say nothing, even if he wants to.
What Do You Do If Your Boyfriend Has Daddy Issues?
If he’s being abusive, like being too controlling or taking his anger out on you, then don’t stay with him. You should never be in an abusive relationship, no matter how much you think you love him.
But if he’s not abusive, just reserved, then you’ll have to be gentle and patient with him. It will take him a long time to truly open up to you. Earn that trust. Celebrate whenever he confides in you even a little. Make sure he knows that he is loved. And try to talk about what you could each do better in the relationship.
Daddy Issues: The Signs, Symptoms, And How To Deal With Them
Just because you – or your boyfriend – have daddy issues doesn’t mean that you can’t have happy, fulfilling relationships. Just be honest with yourself and work with your partner to see where these issues are affecting your relationship. And above all, remember that everything you’re looking for in your father you can really find in yourself – in fact, you’re the only one who can fulfill everything you need.