The relationship between mother-in-laws and their daughter-in-laws can sometimes be tense, to say the least. You’ll often hear married women telling each other horror stories of their unpleasant experiences with their mother-in-laws. With such kind of information floating around, most black women expect the worst from their in-laws even before they say I do.
Well, this doesn’t have to be the case. By following the steps outlined below, you can learn how to deal with your MIL and have a good relationship with her. Let’s get positive girls. 🙂
Step 1: Stop Assuming Things About Your MIL
Making assumptions can make you go crazy, literally! You might assume that your in-laws think poorly of you, say nasty things about you and don’t appreciate you while in real sense; no one is thinking or saying such things. This is one of the factors that cause a strain in the relationship between a woman and her in-laws. These assumptions are your worst enemies, the best thing is to let go of them. Unless someone actually tells you to your face, you’re probably worrying yourself sick over nothing.
Step 2: Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff
The small stuff is what normally accelerates into big problems. Stop letting small issues get to you. Keep in mind that you and your mother-in-law are two different people with different personalities. Your opinions will vary from time to time. If something isn’t really a big issue, just ignore it. If you prepare a cheese sandwich for your husband and your mother-in-law is against it, don’t mind her. If it’s a bigger issue you might need to discuss with your husband who comes first out of you and his mother. But usually, it won’t need to come to that.
Step 3: Want To Live Harmoniously With Your Mother In Law? Don’t Hold Grudges
The worst thing about grudges is that they kill you slowly inside. They make you the worst version of yourself. Sadly, the person you’re holding the grudge against might not even know about it. Instead of holding grudges towards your in-laws, learn to tell them how you feel. This will lift a heavy burden off your shoulders. Otherwise, you should intentionally stop holding grudges and find an activity that helps you vent your anger and frustrations. This is for your own sanity and for the well-being of your family.
Step 4: Treat Your Mother-In-Law Like Your Own Mother
Treating your MIL like your own mother will make things much easier for you. You might find that you take criticism from her personally while you don’t do the same when your own mother says the same thing. If you do treat your MIL like your own mother, you’ll have an easier time being around her and relating with her. Although it might not be easy, make a conscious decision to do so. In the long run, it will do a lot of good to your relationship with her.